An Odd Day for Rembrance

Today is the anniversary of my father's death. For most people, this would be an odd day to remember their loved one. Buy for me it makes perfect sense. My father died shortly before my 7th birthday and two years after the surgery to remove his brain cancer turned him into a perpetual three year old. I have one memory of my father before his surgery: playing on the deck he was building. I tight rope walked down the boards and jumped off the edge repeatedly. All while my father watched and laughed at me. And that is it. That is only memory I have of him before his surgery changed him from my father to my younger sibling. So in a sense, all I can celebrate is his death because that's all I remember of him.

The Relay for Life was this weekend and my family participated. It's stated purpose is to raise money, but really it's an odd celebration of sorts. You're celebrating those who survived cancer, those who are battling cancer, and those who lost their lives to cancer. Usually in our culture, we run away from death and pretend it will never happen to us. It's not until we old and infirm or chronically ill that we face our mortality. But unfortunately, I've had my reality checks. We all have, but usually we don't learn from them. Most recently, a friend died. She was 32 and left behind a five month old and two year old. She died two weeks after learning she had terminal cancer. So, yes, even young moms can die.

Philosophers argue over what makes us human. I believe it is death: knowing we have an expiration date. Embrace that one idea and then live your life. Really live. Don't just exist and tell yourself you'll take that big trip in a few years. Live everyday. Read a book to your kid and do the dishes later. Snuggle with your spouse and fold the laundry tomorrow. Have coffee with a friend and pay your neighbor's kid to mow your lawn instead. Make as many memories as you can because you never know. Don't try and cram all your living into your two week vacation. Spread it out over the year. Things aren't mundane if you do them with the people you care about.

We can't beat death. Someday it will knock on your door. All we can do to prepare is to spend time with those we cherish so that we may live on in their memories.